Thursday Net Worth News 3/31

Lindsay Lohan is getting out of yet another legal mess for the former Betty Ford staffer she allegedly attacked. The Riverside County D.A has decided due to insufficient evidence, they are not going to prosecute Lohan. The victim, who did not want Lindsay prosecuted in the beginning now, says she’s “disappointed but not surprised,” adding, “It’s not fair.”

Gwen Stefani“s son showed us that you are never to young to pick up chicks. The good-looking 4-year-old was seen at a LA Park wearing a wife beater, and talking to a pretty young girl. The picture shows the two holding their cell phones, and talking. Do you think she gave him her REAL phone number?

Barry Zito got into a car accident last night in West Hollywood and was treated at released at Cedars-Sinai Hospital. Zito was involved in a 2-car accident on Sunset Boulevard, in which he was not at fault. The San Francisco Giants pitcher was in LA with his team for their opening series with the rival Los Angeles Dodgers. This will not affect tonight’s game because Zito is 4th in the Giants’ rotation.

Charlie Sheen is being made fun of by Balloon Boy’s dad. Richard Heene has teamed up with comic musician Smokey Miles — a.k.a. Count Smokula to create a bizarre music video where Heene morphs into Sheen.

Kevin Smith is selling some of his beloved movie props, such as the Bluntman costume from “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back” and Bartleby’s angel wings from “Dogma.” The auction will take place at the Pasadena Convention Center next month. WHY? Kevin is raising money to pay for the distribution of his new movie, “Red State.”

Charlie Sheen ‘s new gig MY VOILENT TORPEDO OF TRUTH tour will hit Radio City Music Hall on April 8th. But all the preparation is in the small town of Carlstadt, NJ home of the Dragonfly nightclub where the wild after party is to be held. This small town only has 3 officers on the nightshift, however they are going to beef it up to 10 for this occasion, Carlstadt is not expecting any trouble maybe some crowd control and traffic issues. BOY These Small Town Officers DON”T Have a CLUE!

Adrienne Maloof-Nassif star of the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” and her brothers own Sacramento’s current NBA squad, the Sacramento Kings. It has been rumored that the team is moving to Anaheim. When Nassif was confronted about the move outside a Hollywood coffee shop her comment of “We love Sacramento, but …” leads us to believe it is more than a rumor.

Michael Lohan who has claimed all along that his ex-girlfriend Kate Majors attacked him at the couple’s blowout on March 21. Now we find out that Michael actually placed a call to 911 immediately after the attack, he told the operator “my girlfriend attacked me in my apartment and then I told her I was calling the police … so she took off and said she was going to the police station.” SO WHO REALLY STARTED THIS WHOLE THING!

Brand Sense Partners LLC is suing Britney Spears, for defrauding on their deal. The company was suppose to get 35% of Britney’s profits for hooking her up with a contract between Spears and Elizabeth Arden. The contract was for the marketing of Britney’s perfume Radiance. Brand Sense says they have been robbed of millions, when Spears and her Dad Jamie made a secret deal with Elizabeth Arden, behind the back of the LLC company.

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